The Feeling of Hopelessness
by d.j.-dude
Summary: We all know what it's like to feel hopeless. But sometimes, that feeling can push people too far. Will InuYasha survive to live out his life, or will his father break his spirit? plz r&r.
1. Alone physically and mentally

Hey guys! I was just thinking of all of the bad stuff that has ever happened to me, and I thought that since I was thinking of it, I should put it in a story where InuYasha was in my place. Yes, this is all true! Don't worry, I don't always feel like this, but today was one of those really disturbing mornings that I only go through because… well I don't really have a reason. But who cares? Tell me if this could become a potential story. You know what that means? Plz review.

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Chapter 1:Alone-physically, and mentally

It was Wednesday morning. Almost 7:00. He was dreaming about something. Or, at least wanted to dream about a certain thing. The only problem was that whatever it was that he wanted to dream about never came to him. Instead, all night, he had been dreaming of random things.

Like, for instance, Instead of Eason, he was the person with the police footage of an interrogation of a detective in the movie _Ju-On. _Or _The Grudge2 _as other people would say. And then, the image in InuYasha's head changed as quickly as it came into his head. This time, it was about him climbing up that tower and then jumping off as Mattie turned around as in the movie _Pulse_.

Then, it was a scene found in no movie ever shot. A scene where only InuYasha stood alone in a deserted town. He was standing on top of a high building, with a knife in his hand. All that was going through his mind were thoughts of suicide. Thoughts that compelled him to kill himself.

Do it now! Kill yourself! Die before _He _kills you! Before someone stops you! You have nothing to live for! Everyone _HATES_ you! Do it! Cut your wrist! Jump over the side and fall to your death! No one's watching! This is your chance!

Suddenly, InuYasha threw the knife down over the side as hard as he could. The handle got stuck in the ground because of the force. Breathing hard and angered at what one man could do to him to make InuYasha consider suicide…… he couldn't wait to end his own life. Tired of running away. Of being put into so much pressure to be like his older brother (_A/N: I have two brothers_), and being beat into submission.

Now passed his breaking point, InuYasha jumped off of the building. He got impaled by the knife that had yet to fall to the ground at the blade. Then nothing. Total dark dead silence. A warm, white light began to fill InuYasha's vision. Suddenly, there was a loud ring. The strange sound was painfully loud. InuYasha woke up with a start. It was only the alarm.

"Damn that thing…" mumbled InuYasha.

Oh, yeah… Yesterday was my birthday. …… How old am I again? Thought InuYasha.

Dad… What did I do? Why do you hate me? … Is it because I'm only a half-demon?

"It probably is," Said InuYasha sleepily.

InuYasha forced himself to get ready to go to school. He took a quick shower, and got dressed. He walked downstairs only to see everyone had already left. Good. I'm alone.

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Maybe it's too late to say this but:

XXXXXXX means scene is changing, or fic begins or ends.

Abcdefg when a character is thinking.

"" when somebody is talking.

So what do you think about that…slightly tragic story? Should I keep it going? What can I do for the next chapter? Assuming there is one… Plz review.


	2. School sucks but so does home

Hey! This is the second chapter! I didn't think anybody would want to read it but apparently someone does. Now if only they could get more people to read this… Okay. You should probably read the stuff after the chapter. It holds information that you need to read….at the very bottom.

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha!

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Chapter: School Sucks!

InuYasha walked slowly through the hallway to his locker. He had beaten the morning rush of kids that, in a matter of minutes, would be running from the front courtyard when the bell rang, to their lockers, to their first class of the day. InuYasha made it to his locker when the first five to ten students had gotten into the building. Then came the next 200 or so students came in literally seconds after.

As more students came in, the corridor became full of people talking to friends, putting their things in their lockers, and taking textbooks out. It was getting louder, almost too much for InuYasha's sensitive ears, and it was getting more, and more crowded. InuYasha's locker was very close to his first class. Math.

'Why do I have to take math first period? InuYasha thought to himself.

The math teacher saw InuYasha walk into the classroom, and greeted him.

"Good morning InuYasha," said the teacher.

"Good morning…" mumbled InuYasha. 'My ass… he thought.

The teacher always saw InuYasha in such an unhappy mood. He wondered why the hanyou boy never spoke up, and even more rarely, look someone in the eyes. He assumed this would be the best time to ask, before the rest of the class came in. The teacher wouldn't get another chance to ask until the day after tomorrow, because of the block schedule.

"InuYasha?" said the teacher. "Why is it that I never see you when you're happy, or smiling?"

InuYasha had to think for a second. He didn't want to give himself away by saying something that might make teacher make the situation a big deal.

"…I…I just haven't had a lot to be happy about…" said InuYasha softly.

"What do you mean?" persisted the teacher.

"…I don't want to talk about it…" came InuYasha's reply.

"Well, why not?"

"…I don't like talking…"

There was a short silence before the teacher, Mr. Keifer, spoke again.

"InuYasha?" started Mr. Keifer. "Is there something wrong at home or, maybe, in school?"

InuYasha froze for a second. Mr. Keifer was getting closer to finding out.

"…No, sir…" said InuYasha feeling his heart pound in his head.

"Are you sure?" asked Mr. Keifer.

InuYasha just stared at his math teacher. What the hell kind of question was that?! Of course, in InuYasha's condition, there was a problem at home. But even if there wasn't a problem, why would you ask 'Are you sure ? It didn't make sense.

"I know," said Mr. Keifer. "Stupid question."

That was all that Mr. Keifer said before putting up the power-point slide with the days class work, and homework.

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The bell rang signaling everybody to transition to their second classes. InuYasha went straight upstairs to get to his next class. French, with Mr. Sperow.

InuYasha walked into Mr. Sperow's classroom. He was beginning to get that self-loathing feeling, again. The feeling that didn't just bug InuYasha, it scared him. He didn't want to kill himself in school. That just made things more complicated. InuYasha didn't want people to really feel sorry for him when he did it. Assuming there were any people in his school who thought of him as a friend, or whatever.

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School ended rather quickly, as it always does when you don't think about it. InuYasha walked out of the rather large building. He walked down the street on the curb. He was waiting for someone to run him over on accident. Truly, there was no reason to continue living if you don't enjoy life. But then again, people who love life often die before their time, and people who wish they could end their lives have to stay alive and kept going through whatever it is that hurts them, and make them fell like there is nothing to live for.

InuYasha always took his time to get home. The more time he could stay away from that jail, the better.

'Maybe if I die… then I won't have to feel it anymore, thought InuYasha. 'Well… actually, I wouldn't feel anything… Is that better…?

InuYasha wasn't paying attention, and almost walked past his house. It normally took longer to there.

InuYasha walked into his house. He saw his father in the garage through the open door that led there. InuTaisho was working on his car. InuYasha ran upstairs to his room, and closed the door before his father could see him.

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There was a knock at InuYasha's bedroom door. Cautiously, InuYasha opened the door. It was his older brother, Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru never smiled. Never laughed. But nothing was ever done to him. He was never touched or tortured. He just wasn't the kind of person who would ever seem happy.

"Father wants to talk to you," said Sesshomaru.

"What about?" asked InuYasha timidly.

"I don't care. But if you want to know, then you should come downstairs, and ask him."

InuYasha walked downstairs, after his brother, to the kitchen, where their father was standing.

"InuYasha," started InuTaisho. "Come here."

InuTaisho's voice sounded stern. He sometimes spoke in a way that could make InuYasha nervous, even when nothing was wrong. But He didn't always speak that way.

InuYasha entered the kitchen.

"Yes, Sir…?" said InuYasha nervously.

"One of your teachers e-mailed me today. Mr. Keifer," said InuTaisho calmly. "He says that you never seem happy when ever he sees you."

"………"

"Why do you think that is?"

"I don't know…" said InuYasha quietly.

"Come here, son."

InuYasha slowly walked slowly towards his father. He walked to his father's side reluctantly.

"Why do you seem afraid of me?" asked InuTaisho.

"B-Because…you're always mad at me…" said InuYasha, his voice shaking.

"Well, I'll let you know I am not angry with you," said InuTaisho.

InuTaisho pulled his son into a hug that lasted for about ten seconds. And then, InuYasha was thrown backwards into the counter of the table. It happened too quickly, and seemed very random in nature. InuYasha opened his eyes, and looked up. He saw his father walking toward him, with fury in his eyes. InuTaisho kicked InuYasha in the face, sending pain coursing from his head to the rest of this body. Then, InuTaisho picked up his son by his neck, choking the hanyou. Once again, InuYasha was thrown back against something hard. This time…the stairs. InuTaisho was kneeling down next to his sons shaking body. "

If you tell anyone…I will make you watch them die…and then…I'm coming for you," said InuTaisho.

InuYasha could feel the blood almost pouring out of his mouth from hitting his back against the counter, and then the stairs. His head felt as if it were about to split open, and some of the feeling he had in his arm was coming back after landing on it when he hit the stairs.

InuYasha limped up to his bedroom holding his arm. He closed the door behind him, and collapsed on the floor, and cried silently. He knew his father might hear if he made the slightest sound. But that would be what InuTaisho wanted. To hear his youngest son screaming in pain. Both physically, and mentally. But still, that didn't stop the tears from flowing.

InuTaisho wasn't always evil to InuYasha. He had grown up in an abusive household, and he was taking out his pain on InuYasha. But there were times, when InuTaisho really could get along with InuYasha. InuTaisho didn't want to admit it, but hurting his son, was hurting himself as well. This whole cycle of abuse was a big problem that InuTaisho was trying to work on. But nothing he did helped. At least not for very long.

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There was another knock on InuYasha's door.

"InuYasha…?" came InuTaisho's voice quieter than normal. "I'm sorry…"

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That was the end of chap 2! I know it sounded really evil to have InuTaisho beat InuYasha, but this story is based on what happens to me and my twin brother occasionally. But don't worry! Our dad's getting better. He rarely does stuff like that anymore…

What did you think of this chapter? Should I keep writing this story?

PLZ R&R!


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